
Fuzzy language and fuzzy thinking were always among Carlin's favorite topics. He marveled at oxymorons like "jumbo shrimp" and "military intelligence," and pointed out the social uses of euphemism: "When did toilet paper become 'bathroom tissue'? When did house trailers become 'mobile homes'?" He reminisced about his class-clown antics and Catholic upbringing in the rough Morningside Heights section of New York City. He took on all taboos, even the biggest one, God. How could the Almighty be all-powerful, mused Carlin, since "everything he ever makes ... dies"?
Below is a short collection of his quotes and a video on his perspective of The American Dream. See part 1 with Lying Politicians and Words here.
Below is a short collection of his quotes and a video on his perspective of The American Dream. See part 1 with Lying Politicians and Words here.
"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."
"Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."
"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."
"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time."
"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."
"These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people."
"Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do school teachers handle this?"
"I don't think we should be governing ourselves. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the king’s not doing a good job, we kill him."
"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country."
"The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."